Something Pondered

Appology

2011-02-07T09:26:00.003-07:00

I apologize, but the posts on my recent and ongoing trials proved not to be a good fit for this blog and have been pulled. Family and friends may contact me to be placed on a mailing list for the rest of the story.

Further, I apologize if said posts have been upsetting to anyone. I found a good amount of healing in the effort, but the intent was to offer what guidance I could for others in my situation, a measure of hope for all and to generally encourage faith in Jesus Christ.

Suffice it to say that the Lord has and will continue to guide, comfort, teach and heal though this experience as I remain willing and beseeching . Each day brings new hope and understanding and I rejoice in His loving me enough to trouble me.

straight and narrow tunnel

2010-10-13T15:24:00.002-06:00

(to be fleshed out later ... I hope :) )

The rescue of the Chile miners is a great metaphor for the gospel.

1. Straight and narrow tunnel

don't get attached to anything in the mine(world) that won't fit up the tunnel

2. Salvation is free to the minors - by the grace of the rescuers (savior)

3. The work to be done is to help each other survive the time in the mine and then get(ordinances) into the rescue capsule (covenant)

4. ?

5. ?

Elder Faust and Forgiveness

2010-08-12T08:49:00.011-06:00

Elder James E. Faust left for the next world on August 10, 2007. Three short months earlier he gave one of the more powerful sermons on forgiveness - his last and possibly greatest gift to the world. Elder Faust cites deeply touching examples of forgiveness under terrible circumstances. (See below for a short, well-made video highlighting one of the examples he cited and the 2-part video of that sermon.) We can hope and pray that, under similar circumstances, we would act as Christ-like as the good people in these examples. But there's a way to up the odds - practice.

My guess is that God had personally been teaching these people forgiveness for years and that they'd listened and practiced. My guess is that years before the traumatic events of their lives, they'd overcome the natural man's tendency to desire revenge, justice and grudge. They put on the countenance of Christ and forgave little hurts inflicted by coworkers, bosses, friends and strangers and especially family. They'd forgiven insults, ugly suggestions, gossip, back talk, arrogance, broken windows, scratched cars, aggressive drivers, lies, broken hearts, abandonment and more. They'd learned to give all that hurt to Christ and derive all their needed peace from him. My guess is that they'd learned to turn over their doubts and fears long before they were asked to forgive a more serious hurt.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you...Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

Not everyone has a story of dramatic forgiveness like the ones Elder Foust tells, but by tomorrow we could all have a story of practicing for such a thing. And for most of us, that's all that'll ever be required.

One last thought. Think about the effects of forgiving and how they're focused on the forgiver. If the forgiven even know about the forgiveness, the effects on them are secondary. The forgiver gets the peace, the freedom, the newness of life and more. Therefore, forgiveness can be considered a selfish (but righteous) act while asking for forgiveness can be considered a selfless act.

Consider practicing forgiveness and inviting to forgive. It'll be fun and rewarding.

Text of Elder Faust's sermon:

http://beta.lds.org/ensign/2007/05/the-healing-power-of-forgiveness?lang=eng

Crazy man at Costco

2010-07-26T13:49:00.006-06:00

I spent my lunch break today at Costco and upon arriving back at my car observed a middle-aged man noticing that someone else's car door had left a serious ding and paint streak in his nice car. The problem began with his first reaction which wasn't the healthy rage appropriate to such occasions. Luckily, there was some amount of shock or I'd have quickly checked him into the nearby clinic. He made a surprised face as he fingered the dent. But then even the shock seemed to die away as he began loading his goods into the car like some happy turtle who's shell had been attacked by a nat. He never even looked around for the culprit! If I'd heard him begin to whistle I don't think I would have been more surprised.

From all appearances, he was thinking only of the pleasant drive back to his cloud when the young woman from the car parked behind his slowly approached and confessed that the damage was her doing. She wanted to give him her contact and insurance information so that he could hold her financially responsible for the damage. That's reasonable! But when after listening quietly to her frantic apology, he opened his mouth, I heard him tell her that he wasn't interested in her information and that she wasn't to worry about it! She went on - surely thinking that she'd mis-heard. He listened again to her protests that the dent was significant and then repeated his position of forgiveness!

The poor lady was now in tears. I could imagine how frustrated she must have been because I was ready to go talk some sense into him myself. How could anyone in their right mind just drive away from that. But that's just what he did. After dismissing the lady with a kindness I could feel more than hear from my distant vantage point, he finished loading up his car and drove off with his peace trailing and lingering like the dust of a quiet country road.

I think I still have some of it on me. Crazy, peculiar man!

A Call to Husbands

2010-07-07T13:00:00.011-06:00

Fellow husbands, what we have at our sides are the very daughters of God. Their only flaws are those their Father gave them. You can’t do better than that. So let's recommit. Let's take what we started to a new level. Let's stop being afraid of them and embrace them – flaws and all. But let’s do it Gods way – because we know we are incapable of doing it any other way. With God on our side, it'll be easy. Here's what we'll do...

We’ll begin by cultivating the manner in which we see our wives. We'll remember that they are the very daughters of God. We'll look at them every day with new eyes and see them. We'll look past all else and see them as they were and will be and truly are and compare them to no one. We'll find quiet moments and open our hearts to their Heavenly Father and let Him tell us about them.

Second, we'll take a last look at any shortcomings they may have and remember that those shortcomings are gifts from their Father in Heaven. Then we’ll ask that Heavenly Father of theirs to help us let go. We'll wave goodbye forever to any hurts they may have caused - big and small. We'll forgive all the past and we'll forgive all the future. We'll find that we can no longer be hurt by those shortcomings because we'll understand what they are and we'll learn to take our peace from our God. When the father of lies holds them back up to our remembrance, we'll chuckle and dismiss him and love them all the more. We'll find joy in this true forgiveness and practice it like a favorite hobby.

Third, we'll cherish our wives. We'll open up our hearts again to their Heavenly Father and let Him tell us just how we can bless them. Then we'll choose a special way to serve them and we'll do it often and well. We'll do it without comment and our only intent will be to remind them of their divinity. (clip. catch the part about the love letters - it's an idea!) We'll treat them like goddesses at every opportunity. Then we'll bask in the love for them that the service generates and just to be in the same room with them will be a gift.

Fourth, we'll listen to them. We'll put away our toolboxes and we'll listen. We'll set aside time and ask questions and astound them with godly empathy. We'll forget ourselves, our needs and our tendency to apply fixes and we'll absorb their words and we'll find in those words a lullaby the likes of which we haven't heard since our mothers sang us to sleep.

Finally, we'll man up. We'll watch over them, we'll back them up and we'll protect them and defend them to all and to the end. We'll shelter them and build them up. We'll take their hands and walk the narrow path together. We'll grow old with their hands in ours and we'll find our lives returned to us in that unity. We'll do it in our own ways and we’ll have fun and we’ll find our joy.

And then how we'll feel to sing the song of redeeming love! Then how we'll understand our Heavenly Father and something more of what our Brother is.

Renewal

2010-07-07T12:27:00.005-06:00

Well, the only thing that stays the same is change right? Turns out not even the subjects that I ponder are free from this rule. You may have noticed that my contributions to this blog have died off for the longest period of time yet. It's because about 2 years ago, my pondering started to become focused on a single subject. That is, the good news of the worlds savior Jesus Christ.

I try to ponder politics and current events and daily life - I really do, but it's to no avail. I've hesitated writing my new ponderings here because this never has been a religious blog and frankly I guessed that the gospel isn't as interesting. But now I'm not so sure. The gospel has become something entirely different than I ever knew it to be and much more exciting.

So here we go. The only way to maintain this blog is to stay true to the things that I actually do ponder and so I'm going to begin doing just that. It'll be interesting to see where it goes.

Some things you'll need to know. First, I attend church at the local congregation of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints - also known as the the Mormon Church. That said, I'm immensely interested in the workings of the entire Christian community. I study and ponder other denominations frequently and share what to me is a surprising amount of beliefs with all Christians. I love the passion and praise in so much of Christian Rock music (www.klove.com). I rejoice in the good news with any and all believers.

So you'll notice a 'restored gospel' flavor to this blog, but it will not proselyte and will celebrate with all Christians.

Snow revisited

2008-12-18T13:38:00.003-07:00

I was reminded today of this post from nearly two years ago. It's one of my favorites and I thought I'd share it again with a few minor changes...

Today it snowed. More than was expected I expect.

After lunch I'm walking back into the building. It's still snowing. I yield to the tendency to be annoyed as soon as the first bits get down my neck. Then I'm surprised that it didn’t stick. The annoyance, that is. I find that I'm happy and I can't help it. It's the snow.

Oh the snow! It's always tickled me. First snows are best, but any snow will do - gentle, playful downward dances. I could be coaxed into verse.

Remember standing at the rail of a bridge looking into the passing water and getting the feeling that it's you moving? Ever notice how falling snow can do the same? Only instead of riding forward, you are lifted up? That’s just one of snow’s gifts. Snow is beauty. It is quiet. It is change.

How many artists have been inspired by snow covered hills, mountains and forests? Snow clashes with nothing and fits everything. Snow is nature and it falls upon God’s creations and mans. A grimy street, a meadow, a battlefield - all are blessed by this barren beauty.

Healing moments, enlightened thoughts and treasured memories all emerge as blankets of snow steal away the distracting sounds. Snow is cleanser that reveals the silence beneath. The clamors of wind and beast and machine - all prove weak against this patient power.

If I left tracks every day as I returned to work, normal days would see a strait, steady, solid set of foot prints . Today was different. Some solid lines, a few curved lines, and two abruptly interrupted lines were left in the snow as I did a little dance. Snow changes our walk, changes our mind, it turns us around, and it urges us home.

Snow is also a message. It reminds us to go slow, to look around, to enjoy ourselves - to play a little. Let’s listen. It’s in that delightful, mild, quiet little crunch – more felt than heard - beneath your feet.

Dear Cyberspace

2008-12-10T13:04:00.005-07:00

I want to virtually walk into my news room (cnn, fox, drudge, blogs) from my main room which I decorated with the gadgets of my choice. My social networking room (facebook/twitter/linkedin) is accross the hall next to my library (goodreads) which is at the top of the grand staircase which leads down into my music/game room (pandora) which itself leads into my theater room (netflix etc). Afterward I'd relax in my study (stumbleupon/google) avoiding my office (banks/bill/mint/blogspot/google docs) and work rooms (live mesh/vpn).

At my side, I want my eAssistant who will update me on my friends activities, recommend interesting sites and useful tools, deliver my mail, remind me of tasks and events AND collect and push memories to me all without being annoying.

(the collected and pushed memories would be things like "Don't forget that you vowed never to eat at sonic drive-in again because..." that don't work with the calendar or task list.)

Hasten the day!

Hamster

2008-11-20T11:58:00.001-07:00

Check out my new pet! And would you mind feeding him while you're here? (Just click)

Bad Dreams

2008-10-31T10:35:00.005-06:00

Kind readers, allow me a sober purge of last night’s terrible dream.

I’m very near the conclusion that I’m destined to be at the scene of a terrible airliner accident. Last night I dreamt again that I witnessed a crash. I’ve had these dreams for years. Sometimes they recur for weeks and sometimes years will go by without one, but each time they are the most vivid dreams I ever have. This was the first in at least a year, but maybe one of the most real.

I was the passenger in a car moving in slow traffic toward an unidentified international airport. The roads were clean and white and the cars were small giving the impression that I was in Europe or South America. The driver and I had been watching passenger jets pass directly overhead as they made their landing approaches in the same direction we were moving. Then one came over at an unusual speed. Just as it came into view through the front windshield its nose began to lift and its tail sagged unnaturally. The full stall occurred about 3 or 4 city blocks ahead of us. The fall was swift and sure and began at what I figure to be around a thousand feet. The nose was still inclined as it began its fall and it twisted to its right during the fall such that the rear and right wing hit first. The impact looked to be into 3 to 4 story apartment and office buildings. The sound of the crash itself was wrenching and unlike movie sound effects; more of a deep thudding and scrapping than a banging, wrenching explosion. The ground shuddered just before the sound arrived. There was no explosion, but white and grey smoke did begin to billow moments after.

As it became obvious that the plane would stall, I thought in a dark stun, “No way… this is it… just like my dreams. It’s actually happening now.” With those thoughts and gaze fixed on the falling plane, I numbly opened the door and stepped out onto the road and up on to the sidewalk. That’s where I was at impact. Moments later people began screaming and I starting realizing how paralyzed with fear I was. I knew I should approach the scene and help out in some way, but I did not want to see the carnage and the thought of the carnage kept me glued to my spot on the sidewalk as humanity blurred around me.

When my urge to help dominated I would shuffle or even jog forward, but often the fear would draw me back to a stop. I made it as far as a block before the dream ended. I wanted so much to help and I was deeply angry at myself for being so afraid. I tried to hide or justify my fear and slow approach by offering the question, “What should we do?” to passersby.

This wasn’t the first of these dreams dominated by fear, but there have also been those where I bravely rush to the scene barely aware of any fear. Always though there is intolerable dread. Lord, keep these things in my dreams.

I can interpret my own feelings thank you

2008-10-11T14:29:00.010-06:00

I'm one of the many for whom the man spoke the other day at a McCain rally when he said, "I'm mad...". Well, now I'm doubly mad because I've been seeing on the news for the last few days that the media has interpreted my anger to be against Obama and stirred up by McCain rhetoric. They're stone cold wrong on both points and I'm tired of being told what and why I think and feel. Which may be the root of the problem with liberals anyway.

First of all, this anger isn't at Obama, it's at McCain! Is the media so deaf as to not hear the words that are coming out of the mouths of these people? We're mad at McCain for not standing up for us. We're trying to tell him that we are angry that socialism is getting a foothold in America and that he is failing in the responsibility he's taken upon himself to point it out and prevent it. We're probably also a little mad at ourselves for letting such a possible failure represent us. So... Wrong on why we're mad and Wrong on who we're mad at! We're not mad because of what McCain is saying. If anything, we're mad because of what he's NOT saying!

The point about Ayres shouldn't be simply that he and Obama palled around or that we think Obama wants to blow up buildings. It's that it helps reveal a pattern of associates who openly and directly counter our conservative beliefs. But I doubt we even need that pattern to show the point. We have Obama's own voting record - one of the most liberal in congress. Is McCain even pointing that out though? Not so much. Something is wrong with McCain and we don't know what it is. We're starting to feel like we've been sold out. Thus the anger. Get a clue media types.

I took a Political Science class in college from which I picked up two great life lessons. First that passion for a cause is one of the great things. Second and more relevant here is that liberals are not for the little guy like the little guy thinks they are. In that class we were taught that we were the elite and that we would be responsible for leading the 'little guy' who, it was inferred, was incapable of thinking for and helping himself. At first that thought made me feel good about myself, but soon I saw it for what it is. Liberals are not trying to help the 'little guy', they're simply pointing out the difference between them and the 'little guy' in their minds so that they can keep that superior feeling. In short, liberals need the poor and down trodden to stay poor and down trodden and dependent and they work hard to that end. It's more complex than that, but that gets close to the point.

The first time I knew I couldn't vote for Obama (and I really wanted to from the moment he took stage at the 2004 democratic national convention) was when I saw him tell a crowd attending one of his rallies that they were tired of being told to pull themselves up by their boot straps. That they were there because they wanted the government to help them out. The crowed cheered. I saw the shame in that as well as the manipulation.

Obama and fellow liberals try to inject us with interpretations of our thoughts and feelings constantly. Just listen to a single rally. Well, I'm tired of it and wont have it. I'm capable of interpreting my own thoughts and feelings thank you and here's another of the great things I've learned: that I'm not so different from other people. We'd all be well advised to live by that principle.

Another thing I hate is being labeled uncaring and unfeeling just because I don't believe in stealing from Peter (excess taxes) to pay Paul (excess welfare). I donate a very large percentage of my net income to the needy along with my time and energy as do large numbers of other conservatives so give up on that ugly lie!

And another thing! Just because I understand who it is that keeps our unemployment numbers low (large and small business) does not mean that I am, desire to be, or approve of corrupt, power hungry robber barons. Get over that one too and bask in the sunlight of your lower ignorance level.

Potential

2008-10-02T16:10:00.004-06:00

Was talking to some friends today about a mutual friend who took his own life a few months ago.

The guy was a brilliant executive. Dynamic, engaging, energetic and charismatic. I guess there were some personal problems he was dealing with.

Got me thinking though. He's gone now with all his potential which in my mind is separate from his personal problems given I knew nothing about them. Some introspection lead me to think about my own potential separate from my problems and what people would consider a loss if I were gone. There are some things. And that gives me some motivation to expand on them and put them to use.

The Financial Crisis Simplified / The Financial Crisis for Dummies

2008-09-30T12:35:00.023-06:00

From what I can find out, there are three groups of people to blame for the current financial crisis.

First is the consumer of the last decade or so who believed it when he was told he could afford more than he actually could. Home buyers clearly make up the bulk of the problem here, but the group also includes those who bought boats, big screen televisions and even iPhones with data plans. Who lied to these people? It was their banks, their mortgage brokers, their credit card companies and their friends and neighbors. But these people WERE lied to and therefore do not carry the entirety of the blame although they do now carry a fair share of shame.

That leads us to group number two which is obviously the lenders. This is where the term ‘Predatory Lender’ comes in. This group of people/companies succumbed to their greed and threw caution out the window. They couldn’t or wouldn’t see past the incomes. They sucked the consumer in, committed them, took their share and passed on the buck. Again, there are subgroups here that are more and less culpable. The largest culprits by far are Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae (actually both Government Sponsored Enterprises). These were the big guys at the top that were ultimately buying up all the debt. For example, First Bank of Greed sells a mortgage to consumer Joe Poor. First Bank of Greed then sells the mortgage to another bank and enjoys the profits. That bank then sells the mortgage to Fannie Mae which holds on to it because, one, Joe is still making his payment and two, even if Joe stops making his payment, the US government is backing them up which leads us to group three.

There may be a 4th group. Let's insert them here and call them group 2.5. They're special interest groups who may have pressured lenders into some of their unwise lending policies. More on this group later. ACORN has been blamed, but seems (at least at first glance) to be a force for predatory lending reform. Update: Here's Glenn Beck (I know) with his dirt on ACORN.

Group three is the US government. There’s an idea out there that the government is responsible for taking care of its poor. Different leaders buy in to this idea at different levels and if not persued carefully, can turn in to harmful Social Engineering. Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton bought into it pretty deeply. One approach is to help the poor to earn more. Educate them, give them opportunities. Another approach is to lower prices into poor people’s ranges (keep inflation low etc). And an obscene variation on that approach is to artificially reduce prices. This is what Jimmy did in 1977 with the signing of the Community Reinvestment Act (CRA) and what Bill did with vigor in 1994 when he broadened the CRA under his National Homeownership Strategy. They told Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae that they were to lower their standards and give mortgages to people who could not afford them. So Freddie, Fannie and Friends played with interest rates (can you say ‘interest only’ and ‘ARM’?) and with borrower requirements and suddenly the American dream came alive for millions more Americans.

There’s another reason for this behavior which I’ll touch only lightly on. That is foreign policy. Keeping the American people in a state of ‘rabid buyer’ is advantageous to the government because it keeps the countries feeding the appetite like Japan and China rich and happy.

Then came the hard times and people stopped making their mortgage payments en mass. This created ‘Toxic Assets’. These are mortgages which are either not being paid or that are at very high risk of not being paid. Suddenly, banks carrying these mortgages and insurance companies insuring these banks found themselves loosing value. Both in the Commercial Paper market and in the stock market. These things happen in chain reactions and the result is that money has stopped changing hands between banks and large corporations which depend on borrowing money to make their pay rolls etc.

So then it was time for the government to make good on its promise to Freddie and Fannie and bail them out, but that didn't turn out to be enough. The reaction became huge and now Bush and cronies want to bail everyone out. Not so fast! The people are catching up on the plan and find that it stinks. No bail-out! Sure, we’ll be feeling the pain, but we realize that we deserve it for putting idiots in office who pulled this plastic over our faces.

Notes:
There were warnings and there are lies and there are cowards. Stay tuned.
2005
*Shelby - strong new regulations - Dems defeated
*Greenspan warned in April

Don't know/can't find what dems are talking about in reference to not being warned by Bush. Why would congress be dependent on Bush for that info?

Calls of 'deregulation is the culprit' are partially accurate, but double-talk coming from democrats given they deregulated and voted down oversight for Freddie and Fannie.

And given that McCain co-sponsored the bill to apply oversight that was voted down by the dems, why isn't he talking about it!?

References:
ReasonOnline: The Roots of the Crisis
IBD Cartoon
IBD Editorials Main
IBD Editorials Full
CNN Coverage I
FoxNews Coverage I (youtube)
FoxNews Coverage II (youtube)
2004 Hearings (youtube)

Shameful Corporate Beggars

2008-09-29T18:29:00.005-06:00

So this is how Corporate America chooses to act now? Sounds like a child fighting for a candy bar in a supermarket.

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce, the nation's largest business lobbying group and a vocal bailout proponent, responded quickly after the vote with a letter to all members of Congress.

"Make no mistake: when the aftermath of congressional inaction becomes clear, Americans will not tolerate those who stood by and let the calamity happen," said the letter, urging reconsideration and passage of "financial rescue legislation."

Thrusday RNC

2008-09-04T21:11:00.001-06:00

Senator McCain! ...That'll work! :D I respect you, I believe you, I trust you .... and I'll fight with you. :D

Wednesday RNC

2008-09-03T21:51:00.006-06:00

Romney was in rare form, Huckabee was great, Giuliani knocked it out of the park and Palin nailed it!

Senator McCain! You can NOT read your speech tomorrow!

'The End of Faith' Book Review

2008-08-23T15:09:00.006-06:00

Insofar as man has created his own gods (and the practice has indeed been rampant) I find Harris' critique of faith accurate and interesting. Militant religion frightens me as much as it does him. It's therefore unfortunate that he's riddled his book with double talk, contradictions and absurdities. Presumably, there's an militant atheist out there who has or will endow the perspective with more credibility. I'll continue to search.

The following are notes I'll make during the read. I'll clean up after...

I'm looking to understand the mindset of the militant atheist. The following quote confirms I'm reading the right book.

"I hope to show that the very ideal of religious tolerance - born of the notion that every human being should be free to believe whatever he wants about god - is one of the principle forces driving us toward the abyss."

First, referencing the above quote and Harris' follow-up on it. America did not attacked Afghanistan for its peoples personal beliefs but for the Taliban's ability and demonstrated determination to take action on them. If anyone involved did target anyone for their personal beliefs, they did not do so with their country's support. Has this guy even taken an American history class?

Harris' premise that our ancestors were less capable of rational thought than we is irrational. The fact that the wheelbarrow was in someone's future indicates nothing at all about their intellect. And if the author is correct, there were as few evidences of god then as now.

Harris claims that the only claim of authenticity of holy books come from the books themselves. This ignores the possibility of a 3rd party quietly confirming truth to the millions of people standing unseen in the author's face. He slyly addresses this as the mind speaking to itself. A fare argument given today's philosophy, but sadly self-deceptive.

Another point of interest is that his ire seems to be more against organized religion than against actual faith as he himself reveals that he possesses some.

Also, was his research so narrow as to not have included the fact that Christians don't today kill heretics because Christ fulfilled the Mosaic law? Not because we now find it distasteful? Isn't that a fairly basic Christian tenant?

One of my more pressing questions has been answered. I've wondered why the use of the term 'militant'. Why not something like 'assertive', 'new' or 'proselytical'? Answer in following quote from book...

"The link between belief and behavior raises the stakes considerably. Some propositions are so dangerous that it may even be ethical to kill people for believing them."

Astounding really. He rails against organized religion for killing people. Runs it as a theme through the book and then has the audacity to claim for his own organization ethical grounds for killing people - solely based on their beliefs.

He indicates that his intentions are only toward those with beliefs that themselves drive to kill, but consider history for a moment. This 'high thinking' murderous rationale arrays the beginning of countless atrocities. He seems to believe that his beliefs are superior to others because they're based on modern thought - which rational persons everywhere will recognize are not yesterday's modern thought and won't be tomorrow's modern thought.

Let's keep our heads people! There is much to be learned from science and philosophy, but talk of killing only reveals lessons not learned.

Having great fun with this book. May raise it a star on just those grounds :)

Seem to be in the middle of large section outlining the horrors that people have heaped upon others in the names of their religions. A very good refresher course and reminder, but I'm not sure he's going to add anything significant to the overall discussion of the topic. He also neglects to mention the horrors that people have heaped upon others in the name of science. These come to mind: eugenics, scientific human tests during holocaust, vivisection, animal testing. And of course, hovering over all is his own stated intention of hurting others in the name of his fears.

A bit bored. Wow - the endless run-on scripture quotes and date recitals were a bit much.

Harris insinuates that there has been an increase in the number of pious leaders in American government. A very shallow study of our founding fathers and subsequent leaders clearly shows the opposite. Fact is, we all stand on the shoulders of our pious forefathers.

Again, a contradiction. Harris clearly claims as a moral imperative that citizens be productive instead of spending time in religious pursuits like building churches and nearly in the same breath calls for the rights of everyone to spend their free time experimenting with drugs.

Victims of victimless crimes include spouses, children, employers etc. And of course those on death row are responsible for their crimes. Harris would give them a pass on genetic, upbringing and bad luck grounds? Outside reality. And then he hammers home the culpability of honor killers despite their genes, upbringing and luck. Some consistency here please?

btw Harris, again, a study of America would reveal to you that the people rule. I applaud the action you've taken to change public thinking to suit your beliefs - we should all follow your example - , but to call a majority of the people idiots reveals something unflattering about your own beliefs and education.

Harris' case against states with 'vice' laws is laughable. He'd actually have us believe that these laws are current and enforced? Well, he clearly didn't find enough material on that subject to back up the claim.

So now there's a high-level Christian conspiracy heading the war on drugs fueled by a hot jealousy over spiritual experience. Sometimes I wonder if he's even being serious with us here. And this next advances the incredulity.

Did he just justify torture? The torture subject isn't nearly as difficult for the rest of us as it is for Harris. The difference between bombers and torturers is clear, but perhaps most clear from the victim's perspective. We'd all prefer to suffer a lifetime from the effects of a bomb than to suffer at the personal hands of a fellow human being who's lost his humanity for several weeks in a dungeon. The difference is in the level and type of horror experienced. The horror of someone personally inflicting pain upon you is the entire point of torture and why it rates so high as a fear in the human mind.

Didn't Harris himself earlier in the book get the point when he almost brilliantly differentiated between the throat-slitting 9/11 hijackers and the weeping American soldier who mistakenly killed innocents in the line of duty? And in the 'perfect bomb' theory? The bombing victim in Berlin suffers less in the knowledge that the bombardier would prefer not to drop his bombs than the stewardess suffers at the hands of the terrorist. Torture is still wrong. Even at times of war.

I can quote again from Harris himself to make my final point.

"Intelligent dissent has its limits. People who believe the earth is flat are not dissenting geographers. People who deny the holocaust even occurred are not dissenting historians. People who believe god created the universe in 4004 BC are not dissenting cosmologists. And we will see that people who practice barbarisms like honor killings are not dissenting ethicists."

I only add that people who disparage faith wholesale are not dissenting prophets.

Law of Trends

2008-08-15T12:40:00.007-06:00

Or Law of Perceived Trends.

I'm taking a new blogging approach. You see, I have exactly 33 'draft' blog posts that no one has ever seen. They're all full of excellent 'rough draft' material. The intention, of course, has always been to go back, add content, polish them up and publish. Just doesn't happen. :(

So! I've determined that instead of rough drafting everything and leaving it for later, I'll 'good enough' draft the material, publish it for your enjoyment and then add to it as appropriate.

And now, without further adieu, I introduce to you the 'good enough' draft of Law of Trends... (or Law of Perceived Trends... haven't decided ;) )

I read somewhere of a city battling with with the slow destruction of their inner city apartment complexes. Some brilliant figure had a theory and decided to experiment. The theory was that small maintenance issues not dealt with in a timely manner were snowballing like little fertile amoebas in a well-sweetened petri dish. A simple cracked window surprisingly soon became an entire smelly, run-down apartment complex attired in graffiti and crawling with gang activity.

The experiment was simple. They funded the maintenance group and charged them with splitting some serious lickedy on every maintenance issue. You can guess the outcome. Apartment complexes standing tall and proud, clean, safe and fragrant. Tennents had acutally contributed on they're own time and at their own expense to the beautification.

The article I read called it something else, but I call it the Law of Trends and am trying to apply it to my daily habbits. For instance, I put my cloths away as soon as I can. Not to enjoy the clean room at that instant, but because I recognize a single pair of pants on the floor as an entire nightmare of a mess given only a small drop of time.

Now you can see why this blog is married to my new blogging approach. :) Little draft blog dirties have been clogging up the works!

P.S. A reader's comment led me to this article on broken windows.

Twitter

2008-07-24T08:29:00.006-06:00

Follow the El Ponderado twitter! @elponderado

New Layout

2008-07-06T20:34:00.003-06:00

This should do for now. What do you think? Got it from http://www.bloggerbuster.com/2008/02/101-excellent-blogger-xml-templates.html Google search "blogger xml templates"

New Layout

2008-07-05T06:27:00.000-06:00

no, I'm not a fan of this color scheme either. I'm currently looking for a new layout and have lost my old one in the process :(

Where I'd like to have been

2008-06-29T21:13:00.015-06:00

There are moments in life of real and piercing joy. You know, like when you realize your girlfriend is going to be you wife, when your children are born, when the team you're on wins or when you personally accomplish something you've worked very hard on or overcome a challenge.

And then there are the significant moments in others lives for which you would have loved to be around. Here are a couple of examples that have come to mind recently.

When Albert Einstein's General Theory of Relativity was shown to accurately predict the odd shift in Mercury's orbit which Newtonian principles couldn't justify he exclaimed, "I was beside myself with joyous excitement... as if something had snapped... The results of Mercury's perihelion movement fills me with great satisfaction..."

A friend of his said, "This discovery was, I believe, by far the strongest emotional experience in Einstein's scientific life, perhaps in all his life."

Einstein had, years earlier, in a fit of personal and intellectual devotion, produced a series of papers outlining discoveries so remarkable that they turned physics on its head and earned 1905 the title "The Miracle Year". Special Relativity was one of the products. Special Relativity was limited, however, to describing constant-velocity motion.

He determined then to generalize the theory to include variable-velocity motion. For ten years he devoted himself to the effort and furiously applied himself to the work. His General Theory of Relativity that today defines physics and that benefits all of us daily was the result.

To have been in the room when the Mercury calculations were completed! To have interacted with him in the days and weeks after! What profound amazement he must have felt and radiated and indeed that those around him later described. I wish *I'd* been there.

And then there's Alan Shepard, the 1st American (beat to 1st human by the Russian Yuri Gagarin) in space and the 5th astronaut to set foot on the moon.

After his triumphant 15 minute shot into space to become the first American to exit the atmosphere and before he could fly another coveted Mercury mission, Shepard was diagnosed with Meniere's syndrome - a disease that produced vertigo and took him off the flight roster. With there being no cure for Meniere's his grounded status was indefinite. Lesser men would have left the astronaut corps to pursue other interests. Not Shepard. He continued to serve, study and labor at NASA with undying hope that he would one day, not just fly again, but get a chance to prove his skills. He remained grounded through the entire Gemini program, sent his peers off on mission after mission, watched Niel Armstrong take his giant leap and grimaced and rejoiced through Apollo 13. Then, after ten years of waiting, a new surgery cured him and training brought him back into full astronauthood allowing him to victoriously pilot Apollo 14 to the moon having never lost hope.

The moment that thrills me and that shows one of Alan Sheppard's best attributes - his ability to be awed at moments worthy of appreciation - came just before 9am on Friday, February 5th, 1971 just after stepping off the Lunar Lander into the dust of the Imbrium Sea.

Andrew Chaikin in his book A Man On The Moon describes it best...

"Shepard realized that, finally, everything was going well. After all they had been through, he felt sure he would have his full-up mission. He took a moment to lean back so that he could look up into the black sky, and near the zenith his gaze found a small and lovely blue-and-white crescent. Suddenly he was overcome by the beauty of the earth, by the undeniable majesty of Fra Mauro, and by his own feeling of relief. Standing on the gray dust of this promised land, Shepard cried. For several long moments, while the checklist went unnoticed, his tears flowed in spite of himself."

Meanwhile, up in the Command Module, Stu Roosa watched the moon circle past his view port while "How Great Thou Art." sounded from the ship's tape player...

When I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works Thy hands have made
I see the stars, I hear the mighty thunder
Thy power throughout the universe displayed
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to thee;
How great Thou art, how great Thou art.

It's not so much that I'd like to have witnessed the moment as it is that I'd like to have gotten myself there to witness the earth above me and to savor the taste of personal as well as shared victory.

Do you have an example? Maybe one I could research? Let me know in the comments and I'll do a follow-up blog.

Attempting a Jott to...

2008-06-23T13:20:00.001-06:00

Attempting a Jott to Blog test. Testing testing. listen

Powered by Jott

Street Beggar

2008-04-21T22:15:00.012-06:00

I gave money to a street beggar today.

He was standing on a street corner at a traffic light. I pass the corner regularly on my commute home. I often see beggars at that corner, and just as often dismiss them.

This time was very strangely different. The first sign was that I found I could only take my eyes off him with effort and nothing could take my mind off him. I pondered him till I wondered why time had stopped at that light. He just stood. No glance. No movement. Still more time passed.

I gave myself every reason not to give to him. I talked myself out of it a hundred times in that eternity. He'd use it for booze. Another nasty habit. He'd gas up his BMW with it. He didn't deserve it. It was MY money.

Then it was urgent.

Something. What was it? Earnest Hemingway speaking through the mesmerizing narrator from the CD player? Something else? It told me I should. It had to repeat itself. Dazed, I reached for my wallet. Too much trouble. The whole seat belt thing and all. So I leafed through the loose items in the car knowing I'd find nothing. Then the vivid memory of a great man giving generously and often to the street people of Brazil. Now I was leafing through my wallet with hard pain and warm satisfaction - collecting bills - managing to shuffle around the 20.

The light turned and the cars ahead began their move. I was panicked. How were such things done? I started the window down and the car forward as the man started toward me. At once I feared both hurting him and the expected honking of impatient cars behind me. The window was down. He was reaching and blessing and I was accelerating. The exchange took place. Too fast. Too soon. All too soon. That voice! That blessing!

What happened? It felt right. Wow. The missing judgment. The meaning.

I'm going to do it again.

Troy's Stitches

2008-02-26T20:07:00.006-07:00

Here's a fun little story I wrote in college about an event from my childhood...

As our end of the trailer thumped to the ground, we turned and looked back to see how Troy was enjoying the game. He was gone and we knew immediately what had happened.

It had started out as such a hot, boring day. I think it was a Sunday. That's when we normally found ourselves in our own back yard since playing with the neighbor kids was normally frowned upon that day. I'm sure that we made several attempts to amuse ourselves before the accident. Maybe one of our famous rock fights had broken out; but likely not as those usually ended up in a problem similar to the one we found ourselves in now.

I remember how, peering through the old rusted swing set which sat in the middle of the yard, I spotted my dad's new, freshly painted single axle trailer. I called Troy and my two older sisters over and we all climbed into our newly found toy. Soon we discovered that we could cause the whole trailer to teeter-tauter by running back and forth in the bed of the trailer across the line of the axle. That was very entertaining for a while but eventually my mind began looking for something even more exciting. That's when I hit on my ill-fated idea. The plan was whispered and the 'go' command given. My sisters and I quickly ran to the top end of the trailer leaving our unsuspecting brother behind.

The possibility of Troy being injured in any way never crossed any of our minds, but now we found ourselves facing our thoughtless act. Dread flooded our little world.

We stood there for a long moment in the warm sun letting the rustle of the recently yellowed leaves of our old cotton wood tree hypnotize us. Then came the expected sound of Troy's cry. He appeared from behind the trailer clutching his head with his left hand and headed for the house. We then sprang to action. We knew that we could not let him reach the house, for if he did mom would surely find out and we would really be in trouble. My older sister did most of the talking. I and my younger sister stood behind and agreed with everything she said.

"You're okay! Don't cry! Mom will find out and we'll all be in trouble!"

"We're sorry. Look, we'll let you hit us as hard as you can!"

Only a few short moments of this passed before Troy, still crying loudly, lifted his hand from his head. As he did we noticed the trail of blood emerging from his hairline and his red-stained hair. We knew it was over. I knew that mom would find out and that I would be blamed for the whole thing.

Sure enough, mom came running out of the house and Troy was enveloped in the ensuing rustle and bustle. Mom quickly applied first aid. Then, before hauling him off to the doctor for stitches she asked what had happened. My sisters quickly answered making sure that the fact that it was all my idea came out clearly. I, of course, denied it all.

Maybe I convinced my mother, maybe not, but I don't remember ever being punished for the deed. I do, however, remember the terrible feelings of guilt and sorrow that I felt every time I saw his stitched up head in the weeks to come.

Giuliani

2008-01-28T14:16:00.000-07:00

Eggs in a basket case.

One more for Hillary

2008-01-26T15:24:00.000-07:00

So my oldest son declared his endorsement of Hillary Clinton the other day.

It wouldn’t be noteworthy but for two facts: His mother and I are fairly staunchly conservative and … he’s 6.

He just up and excitedly said something like, “There’s Hillary! She needs to be the new president!” as we were all enjoying breakfast one morning.

I was speechless. It took a moment to get my thoughts together.

“So, why should Hillary be the new president?” I ask.

"Because the other guy is bad.”

"What other guy?”

“That Ber-baka guy.”

“Barack Obama?”

“Yeah. I don’t like him. He’s mean.”

Where was this was coming from? Had pesky liberal educationalists already gotten to him? Was it his principal? His teacher? Or even worse … a young friend?!

So I ask, “Who told you that?”

“No one.” he replied, “I just thought it myself.”

Wow. I was taken aback. Was it already time to start discussing politics with my children? I wasn’t ready! I hadn’t even thought it through. Should I preach my views or adopt the Fox News channel slogan and strive for fair and balanced?

I let the subject drop with, "Well, he's not all that bad. He's a good person, I'm sure."

I figured he’d likely forget all about it, but over the next few days his vigor only grew. Every time he’d see her, he’d yell, "There's Hillary!" and explain to his brother and sister that she's going to be the new president.

I chocked it up to an overexposure to CNN and determined to view more FOX despite my distaste for their silly, unprofessional style. More exposure to the republican candidates, I reasoned, would either turn him or even better, confuse him back into his own age-worthy concerns.

No go. Days later, he was a staunch Hillary advocate and had joined the campaign. Now he had his younger brother and sister in tow. His brother was echoing his chants and his sister was touching Hillary’s face on the TV while uttering little, “ughh” and “noow” sounds when Obama came on.

I discussed it with some buddies at work. They decided it was time for a serious discussion of the issues.

“I could tell him that she thinks she has the right to take enough of his money from him to pay for all the woes of other people in the society.” I reply.

“But that's not all.” Says a buddy. “She's also an advocate of allowing anyone who wants to kill babies before they're born...and eventually have US pay for it. She doesn't want us to be able to protect ourselves from bad guys...and bad government. Etc., etc.”

I reply, “And she thinks that she and future she's are smart enough to run an economy by force instead of leaving it free. As if history hasn't proved that that never works.”

Buddy: "If he has a moral bone in his body (and I'm sure he does)...I think just explaining the broader aspects of her platform will be enough to sway his opinion.”

Me: “Yeah! She's for the ‘little guy’, but very against the ‘very little guy".

Buddy: “The whole platform is just plain...questionable...from a free and moral perspective.”

Me: “It's maddening really. People with hearts bigger than their minds and people with their hands out propping it up.”

Buddy: “I have a hella-big heart. But I'm also extremely independent-minded. If I am ‘down on my luck’, I'd appreciate help...but only long enough get me back on my feet. ...and that help can be gotten from anywhere. I'm not about to force it to come from people who not only don't know me, but wouldn't want to help me in the first place!”

Me: “Your mind is clearly big enough to explain to your heart that government is not the answer to all its questions.”

Okay, let’s get serious here. Can you really have such a discussion with a 6 year old?

I haven’t decided. So for now, I’ve contented myself with being impressed that he has such strong convictions and waiting it out.

So congratulations Hillary! You’ve got one (if not 3) more! He doesn’t have a vote, but then again neither do Michigan and Florida and they still manage to be important. :)

New Hampshire

2008-01-08T19:38:00.000-07:00

Democrats act politically on emotion and tonight Hillary benefited. Great victory there. Great cry. It should be named. How about, "The Cry of Salvation"? Or, "The Comeback Cry"? :)

Bad news for Mitt. He did have the best republican speech of the night by far, though, but only because McCain read his. Had he spoken the same words from the heart it could have been magical. Imagining it given from the heart, I was picturing his image on coins and in my grand children's history books.

The power of a president

2008-01-08T12:33:00.000-07:00

If we elect a president and he disappears into his own world then all we've done is to elect a short-term king. Only he's a lame king because he's hindered by the democratic checks and balances in place.

You see, a president is two things. He's a representative. He represents our values, views, hopes and ideals. If all goes well, he takes these things with him into office and administers the country accordingly. But that's not ALL he is.

A president is also a leader. He must turn back around and speak with us. Consult with us. Show us the way through both word and example. I think we and they forget this. We seem to send our presidents off as if on a journey with best wishes and promises of support. And then watch from afar with fingers crossed. That's a sad surrender of our power. It is not okay.

We elect the president based on what we know. We know what the current issues are and how we'd like them to be handled. We know what philosophy we want day-to-day administration of the country to be based on. But we put our president in a position of knowing a lot of things that we don't know at the time. Mainly because they're in the future. Often because they're too sensitive to be publicized. On these matters we should expect our president to lead us.

We should elect a president who can come to us and say things like...

"Look, here's the situation. Based upon my knowledge, understanding and wisdom and upon the principles I promised to foster, I think X and Y are the things that should happen. For this to work, you will all need to do Z. Please join me in this and make the sacrifices necessary. This can work!"

...

"Hey, it looks like our efforts to bring about X have worked! This is great for everyone! We've organized a party! Enjoy!"

...

"Well, Y was a mistake. We pursued it for reasons A, B and C. It didn't work for reasons M, N and O and I apologize. Based on our new understanding, D is the solution. Please take heart and step up by doing E and F."

...

"This is a sad day. A very hard decision has had to be made and a lot of people are going to be hurt. X, Y, and Z are why we have to do this. It's a nasty flu shot, but will prevent the flu. We will do A and B to ease the pain and in the end we will shine again for our sacrifice and efforts."

The thing is, WE are the people and WE run this place. When we're left wondering, we polarize. Some of us can support a president in the dark and we do so with vigor and conviction. Other's of us become disheartened, confused, angry and tired and then react accordingly. We're not smart enough to always elect the wisest, most knowledgeable and capable president, but the system is set up with some protection for us from that. What we SHOULD be smart enough to do is to elect a president who can lead us, communicate with us, honor us. Be us.

When the president brings us along, we act as one. When the president won't or can't bring us along, we divide. I'm not being ignorant here. There will always be differences of opinion; there will always be dissent. But never so much as when we become detached from our president. And when we are attached to him, there's an atmosphere of communication in which dissent can act as a healthy and effective tool.

It takes someone with charisma. It takes communication skills and it takes honesty even when it hurts.

We may not even know it all the time, but we are comforted by someone who can talk to us, be honest with us, be strong for us, be sensitive for us. Be us. This isn't a feeling to flee from, to reason away. This is a collective wisdom inherited from the dying wisdom of previous generations. It's evolution. It's what works best. A true principle.

Mistakes are made, but if we make them as a people, we still win. Success is achieved, but when we achieve it as a people, we achieve it in glory. And the best peaceful way to be a people is to be well lead by a good president.

... made me think of Mitt

2008-01-05T17:07:00.000-07:00

I haven't made up my mind about Mitt. In fact, I've got a blog brewing that may indicate a leaning toward the likes of Huckabee or Paul, but when I read this little gem from Benjamin Franklin the other day it made me think of Mitt. It has often occurred to me that the press Mitt gets for changing his mind on some important issues need not be seen as quit as strong a negative as it is.

After all, shouldn't we be looking for men to lead us who are constantly seeking better understanding and greater wisdom and who are willing to question their own beliefs. Isn't that, in fact, exactly what all the candidates are asking us to do?

Well, Mitt and his people could likely never quote this because the self-deprecating element would likely be spun against him, but here's what Benjamin Franklin had to say to begin his closing address to the constitutional convention...

"I confess that I do not entirely approve this Constitution at present; but sir, I am not sure I shall never approve it: For, having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged, by better information or fuller consideration, to change opinions even on important subjects, which I once thought right, but found to be otherwise. It is therefore that, the older I grow, the more apt I am to doubt my own judgment and pay more respect to the judgment of others...."

No doubt, there's reason to be weary of flip-floppers given the danger of electing one based on his or her stand on an issue only to see them go counter. However, given that Mitt has only flipped and hasn't flopped, I'm pretty comfortable that his changes of opinion are, as he states, honest increases in experience and wisdom. And that, to me, can speak to the greatness of a man more so than to the weakness.

New Domain Name

2007-12-14T11:20:00.000-07:00

My current domain name is making me a little nervous given current security and identity theft issues. So I'm looking for a new, more anonymous domain name. I've listed a few on a survey. Do a favor and vote for your fav! All the ones listed are currently available as .com which I intend to use.

Add your own in comments here. ... no funny stuff! ;)

El Ponderado Wins!

Self Fulfilling Prophecies II: Behind Luck

2007-11-10T13:16:00.000-07:00

Warning: This blog is in the ‘long’ category.

It’s also in the ‘stories’, ‘interesting’ and ‘helpful’ categories. So get committed. :-)

My commute to work is about half an hour which gives me nearly an hour of commute time each weekday. Like anyone else, I spend some of the time critiquing other drivers (can you believe the number of people still talking on their cell phones while driving?!), but most of the time I spend listening to audio CDs of good books that I pick up at the local public library. Currently, I’m listening to a book called Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell.

Gladwell is making the case for the efficiency of our human intuition. He argues that its superior ability to quickly analyze and produce decisions should be trusted and favored in many cases over labored data gathering and conscious analysis. He also argues that our intuition can lead us into big social faux pas which he calls the ‘Warren Harding Error’. ;-) I’ll have to get back to you on how we should know when our intuition is playing the prankster and when the wise owl.

Getting on to my subject, Gladwell, at one point, discusses research into a physiological process called ‘priming’ that has shown that even slight suggestions of a result given just before a task strongly influence a person’s performance. For example, words associated with age imbedded in a test of scrambled sentences results in the subjects walking slower after the test. Groups of students asked to imagine what it’s like to be a professor prior to being given an aptitude test perform far better than identical groups of students asked to imagine being soccer hooligans. And minorities asked to indicate their race prior to a test perform far worse than identical groups of minorities not asked for their race which brings me to my point.

We’ve all heard and likely believe the old adages that we make our own luck, but do we understand the mechanics behind how this works beyond the idea of some mystical power of positive thinking? I don’t think I have. Probably still don’t entirely, but something about it has been itching at the back of my mind and this book has helped me put my finger on it.

Think of the ‘priming’ examples given above. We probably all put ourselves into the shoes of the research subjects when we read those. Now put yourself into the shoes of the researchers. Consider that you are broadcasting ‘priming’ messages to those you come in contact with (your subjects) throughout your day.

Gladwell provides an example. He gives a nice illustration of a black person in a job interview where the white interviewer is consciously accepting and friendly to blacks. However, he is continuously exposed to suggestions that blacks may be inferior via the popular culture. (Other research has revealed that the majority of Americans, regardless of race, are intuitively biased to the superiority of whites. See here. [click ‘proceed’ and then take the Race IAT]) Beyond that, he has little contact with the black community and so, regardless of conscious effort, is naturally slightly uncomfortable in the black interviewee’s presence.

This unconscious bias and discomfort are unavoidably revealed to the interviewee through body language (closed and distant body posture, less eye contact, slight hesitancy in speech etc.) which the interviewee interprets as the interviewer’s low opinion of him. The interviewee is very likely to perform as he perceives that the interviewer expects him to. Badly.

That example is laced with social and political associations that could distract from the point here and so here are a few stories of my own that I think illustrate the point equally well. I’m in the subject’s role in these stories, but keep in mind the priming broadcaster’s angle.

Story 1...
When I was a teenager, I worked at my father’s diesel mechanics shop rebuilding fuel injectors. I became pretty good at it - to the point that I used to imagine my friends coming in one day and being impressed at my skill and speed. One day a customer came in with some fuel injectors that needed to be tested. I was at the front desk at the time. Dad handed me the injectors and asked me to do the testing. I caught a disapproving glance from the customer just before he asked if he could come observe the testing.

Dad let him back where he silently watched. In my mind, the customer distrusted me because of my age and did not believe that I could perform such a specialized task. Despite my long experience, skill and confidence, I was nervous, slow and inaccurate and even ended up dropping one injector on the floor where its expensive tip shattered into several pieces.

Story 2…
During college I worked for a while at a small software solutions business. I had worked for a couple of years just prior to that doing similar work at another company where I had excelled. It was a contact at that first job that got me the opportunity at the second.

Unfortunately, the owner of the second company seemed to quickly develop a low opinion of my work. He never said it outright, but to my mind, in his mind I was under performing. Despite my years of experience, acquired skill and confidence, I was surprised to find that I started to under perform in even my judgment. I quit a year later unhappy, uncomfortable and discouraged. I now enjoy a very successful career in software development.

Story 3…
You may recall one of my early blogs with a similar title in which I describe fulfilling what I perceived to be my wife’s expectations of my driving abilities as I routinely took odd routes and missed exits.

I’m not trying to make excuses for my poor performance in these examples. We’re all responsible for resisting the priming effects of others in our own lives. The point is that we can’t make the mistake of causing the effect in others because we can’t be responsible for their awareness of the effect nor for their ability to resist it.

The unconscious intuition centers of the brains of those around us are actively evaluating our expectations of them. Regardless of accuracy and truth, even their slight perceptions that we think of them as incompetent, having low potential or being inferior have powerful effects.

Hey, when it’s true, it’s true - right? Need I mention American Idol? Sometimes there are truths to our biases and sometimes people need to be made aware of them. But when it’s an unproven, untrue, unintended or otherwise misguided ‘priming’ communication it’s as much a problem for us as it is for them because other people’s actions affect us. Their actions are in a big way, our luck.

Could we be priming our neighbors into obnoxiousness? Could we be priming our coworkers into ineptness? Could we be priming doctors, mechanics, mailpersons, food servers, fellow drivers etc, etc into mistakes? Could we be priming our children into disobedience? Could we be priming our spouses into … missing exits? Could we even be priming ourselves into some failure?

We hope that those around us are performing to the best of their abilities. Let’s, in the positive sense of the word, expect it of them. Anything less will only decrease the odds.

Utah Education Vouchers

2007-10-17T07:44:00.000-06:00

I'd like to send my children to good private schools the same as more wealthy families do. I want smaller class size and more money spent on my and my neighborhood's children's educations. I want better teachers and more help for special needs children. I want some reform of our public schools.

But I'm strongly against publicly funded education vouchers.

Not because there are already good, more appropriate programs to help with special needs. Not because of the lax private school standards. Not because voucher funds are lower than good private school tuitions. Not because of cultural division concerns (fodder for another blog). Not because I don't want additional amounts of my taxes spent on the inevitable legal fights that would pursue. Not because competition is a free market tool and a serious misfit for government programs.

And finally, not because the 'additional' funds going into public schools (which represent a 'double funding' of per-child education by tax payers for those 5 years including for thousands of children that are now privately funded) are cut after 5 years.

(but those are enough)

I'm opposed because it's bigger government and a sloppy solution.

The trick is to keep government power in check. There are a lot of ways in which public education under and oversteps its bounds today which is a large reason home (and what about them anyway?) and private schools are attractive in the first place. A voucher program only broadens the government's power as its money and influence flows more and more broadly. It's another government office with more government employees, politics, corruption etc.

If we must pursue a sloppy solution then let's look at giving tax breaks to families and groups who seek education elsewhere. Why pay into a system that only devalues the money and routes it back?

Look; education is not a natural right. Its funding and oversight by our government is unnatural and misplaced in a perfect world. It is necessary in our not-so-perfect world because our advanced and unnatural (civilization is not a state of nature) society is complex, fragile and difficult to understand without help. Without mandatory, regulated, 'free' education, we would face mobs of confused reformists and law-breakers of every persuasion just as many third world countries do today because enough of us would choose not to or not be able to educate ourselves and/or our children.

We've given our government a great amount of power by letting them provide our education in exchange for guarantees of a stable, safe and educated land in which to pursue our happiness. If our government is failing us, then we the people should see that the problems are properly fixed. Home and private schools as replacements for public schools are band aids. They represent masses of people running from the problem. If a dam is unstable, moving the town to higher ground is an expensive, sloppy, lazy solution with bad consequences. Why encourage it? Why not act like a civilization and band together to repair the damn thing?

Enough said. ... but I continue...

In my opinion, we've only allowed private and home schools in place of public schools because we've lost sight of the reasons for those public schools. If public schools are failing to teach the necessities then they should be fixed with a stern hand. If public schools are teaching too much (sex ed), then the people should modify the curriculum. If public schools are dangerous then discipline should be restored (I got swats in school and I'm fine. Get over it!). Families and social groups that desire advanced education should hire tutors to augment public education.

If those things just can't happen, then at least a better way to run from the problem would be the tax breaks I mentioned above. Vouchers are the wrong answer even if we decide on a lazy approach.

Let's not hear ourselves selfishly saying "oh goody! More for me!" Let's see ourselves unselfishly deciding what's best for the society based on the structure and needs of our civilization.

Remember; it's not about 'us' it's about our neighbors. Ponder THAT.

baaaa ba-ba-ba bum !Pum!

2007-09-20T07:35:00.000-06:00

So, I'm lathering up my hair this morning in the gym shower after one of my better aerobic workouts in months when the unmistakable, yet soft sound of song begins to drift through the air.

The gentle sound approaches and settles into the stall next to me all the time increasing in vigor and bravado. I'm annoyed.

I'm wondering if some rough, callous dude down the way may pipe up and end the audacious intrusion or if I'm expected to do it myself being the closer when I'm suddenly startled at myself.

I'm not like that! I approve of happiness, I remind myself, and realize with both relief and regret that I've again caught myself bowing to the world.

Now I relax and continue my duties as the situation turns enjoyable. I don't recognize the tune, but it's clearly folksy in nature and something the man has enjoyed for a good many decades of 'good-ol' life. "baaaa ba-ba-ba bum Pum", with the more positive 'Pum' sound a turn up in pitch from the 'bum' sound.

It dawns on me then that the man is in possession of a great deal of enviable contentment. He likes himself regardless of what I and the rough and callous body builder down the way may think of him. In fact, I wonder if our thoughts have even occurred to him. Then I know they have, yet have been joyfully dismissed through powers of cultivated wisdom and understanding. I realize that he's confidently accepted us as soundly as I had dismissed him at first thought.

Shamed by my exposed ignorance, I've now, in turn, accepted this man and am dedicating myself to the adoption his subtle lessons. I consider for a moment joining in now that I've caught on to the melody and a slight grin forms at the corners of my mouth. I shake off the urge with my own fragile wisdom but consciously retain the joy of the moment.

And that act of retainment opens up a window of perspective. The troubles of the world seem suddenly surmountable. The powers of core and root values and human spirit can be adopted, fostered and applied. The joy doubles and commitments are renewed.

Thanks old man! I needed that.

Cheer up America!

2007-08-28T09:57:00.000-06:00

I'm rethinking all this doom and gloom.

Yeah, our generation has it's problems - just like every other generation. But as a people we're warm and well fed. Better off than any of our progenitors as far back as can be looked. We're more aware of and doing more for our environment, our minorities and our poor. We enjoy an embarrassing abundance of bounties, freedoms, pleasures and opportunities.

Sure there are threats to all this, but none eclipse in scale those that we have overcome in the past. Should we call it good? No, we should soldier on, but in the mean time, take a moment to well, ...Cheer up!

Kids

2007-08-23T13:11:00.000-06:00

Can it really be said too often that kids are wonderful? Is wonderful even a good enough word?

Had a tough evening with mine the other day. The two older boys running around damaging the house and the baby sister and giving ugly faces when disciplined. Once they were corralled and quietly drifting off to sleep, baby sister refused to be content with her new sippy cup and ran around screaming while I tried to get in some evening news.

When she finally tuckered out, I placed her next to me in my arms and as she fell asleep, she turned to me, looked me straight in the eye and softly babbled her love for me while gently playing with my face. The overwhelming love, forgiveness and peace such moments bring convinces me that there is such thing as magic. It's called kids and they are called miracles.

I Fed My Baby Ants

2007-04-02T08:38:00.000-06:00

Now, that's not entirely true. Here's what happened...

We're over at my brother's house for dinner on a fine Sunday evening. The women are in the house swooning over my new nephew while my brother and I watch watch the kids in his backyard when my oldest son at 5 yells from around the corner of the house, "Look at all these ants!"

My nephew of 2 comes over at a trot, "Ants daddy! Ants!"

My younger son at 3 who missed the initial discovery due to his being overly interested in a box of cookies disappears around the same corner at a full run.

My brother and I exchange glances and he gets up to take a look. When he returns he reports that there is indeed a large collection of small black ants. Harmless. Oh, good. This will keep them entertained for a few minutes.

So the boys watch and prod as we get back to our conversation.

It's not until I hear my oldest exclaim, "Some got on this lid!" that the ill fated idea comes to me.

My daughter of not quite 1 is sitting at my feet quickly loosing interest in a toy. I figure that she might enjoy seeing a couple of ants.

"Bring the plate over here.", I say.

It arrives in the hands of my 3 year-old. The other children crowd around expecting some exotic grown-up addition to their excitement. I suppose they are not disappointed when I gently prod two small ants from the lid onto the back of my daughter's hand.

Now, I can't avoid admitting here (but only because there were witnesses) that I did mention something about her eating them. And I suppose I should have seen this coming. However, it was truly a bit of a surprise when her hand shot instantly and with near explosive power to her mouth.

There was a mixed reaction. My oldest son's face went pale as did that of my niece. The two younger boys faces lit up with eyes wide. My brother (though he may want to correct me out of self-preservation) gave a chuckle. I joined in with him.

I must continue with another admission. When I was young and my siblings were yet younger, we spent oodles of time in the yard and discovered several varieties of native edible plants and insects. Our favorite by far was the little round packets of 'green cheese' that grew on a low-lying weed at the corners of the lawn. And yes, several siblings ingested large numbers of little black ants

It is a fact, you know, that our culture is one of only very few that do not include insects in our diet.

First day of the rest of my life

2007-04-02T07:37:00.000-06:00

I've done this several times in the past. A fact that self-indicates failure. However, one must keep trying. Right? What's going on? I'm changing my life.

Let's start with a confession. I'm addicted to sugar - especially when it comes in the form of chocolate! I sneak it at home and on the road and I eat it by the handful at work. I don't just like it - I crave it. And when I haven't had it my mood changes and I feel the miss physically and psychologically. Come to think of it, I hate the stuff! It's a dreadful master. It whips me with upset stomachs, acid reflux, a decrease in energy and ambition, high cholesterol, a larger midsection and all the havoc that those waves produce.

So here's what I'm doing about it. I've committed to live the Body-for-Life way indefinitely. Why Body-for-Life? Only because it's worked in the past. My wife and I did the 3 month stint a few years ago. It was tough, but we both lost gobs of weight and felt like champions and by the end it had almost become a natural part of life. Why do a ton of research when you know something that works? Time enough for research and refinement in the future. What there is no longer time for is delay.

In preparation for the big change, I've been exercising dogged self-restraint when it comes to sugar for the past several weeks. I've reduced my intake drastically and have felt the difference. And today, the big change begins. I woke up early, had a nice moderate protein and carb breakfast and found my way to the gym. Did a lower body workout - the aerobic machines were all taken. My legs ache, but not like they will in the morning! :)

So I'm off! And unfortunately for you, you'll be getting a dose of progress reports somewhat regularly. The good news for you is that wit, humor and opinion should return better than ever if this works out.

Illegal immigration

2007-03-14T15:55:00.000-06:00

So today President Bush told the Mexican people that he feels like he has made the American People feel that their government is now respecting the rule of law in regards to illegal immigration. (... which should lead the way to the passing of guest worker legislation)...

Now to a bumper sticker I saw today...
Top line: BUSH
Bottom line: LLIT

What the... happened at the Grammys?

2007-02-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

If I were the Dixie Chicks I'd be embarrassed.

Getting awards (for great music when you produced only mediocre music) only because your political view has become accepted by your peers isn't something to be proud of.

Global Warming Alarmists = WMD Alarmists

2007-02-06T08:36:00.000-07:00

What is it about the shower? It enhances both your singing voice and your thinking ability. Hopefully not both in the same way.

So I'm thinking in the shower this morning about yesterday's post when it occurs to me that there are some real parallels between Global Warming Alarmists and WMD Alarmists.

First of all, politicians took us to war in Iraq shouting, "WMDs!" Why? Because they lacked the charisma and leadership to lead us with the better reasons or because there were no better reasons. Either way, what they saw was an opportunity and what they had was a consensus. A very large number of respectable analysts concurred that Saddam had WMD. End of story, here we go.

Now, politicians are taking us to war against carbon shouting, "AGW!" (Anthropogenic Global Warming) Why? Because they lack the charisma and leadership to lead us with the better reasons or because there are no better reasons. Either way, what they see is an opportunity and what they have is a consensus. A very large number of respectable analysts concur that carbon heaved into the atmosphere is a significant contributor to the global warming trend. End of story, here we go.

In the light of the first, should we not at least consider both to be scare tactics - subjects by which powerful men can lead masses? The Iraq war may or may not have been justified without screaming, "WMDs!" and the fight against carbon emissions may or may not be justified without screaming "AGW!", but in whatever case, the screaming is dangerous.

Look at what the effect of bullying through blindness (screaming "WMDs!") was in Iraq. Decisions were made in the darkness and relative vacuum of criticism which are regretted and which were unimaginably costly. Had a discussion about WMD developed that was more open and tolerable of dissenting voices and more importantly, had the intelligence been up to par we may have gone into Iraq much smarter than we did or we may not have gone in at all.

Can not the same severity of mistakes be made in the frenzy that we are in now about Global Warming? What will it mean to have ignored the other pressing world issues? What economic, technical, and or charitable progress will we have lost if AGW goes the way of WMD? Can we not apply a lesson learned in the theater of war in the theater of environmental care?

In short, those behind the Al Gore approach to carbon control are no different from those who supported the war based upon the WMD scare. The former are embarrassed at the damage done. Let's try hard to avoid the same fate for the latter.

Again, allow dissenting voices in the debate! Let's look harder before we jump this time! In the end we and the environment will benefit.

You'd better be right Gore!

2007-02-05T13:49:00.000-07:00

Science is taking a huge risk in entrusting itself to Al Gore. If it turns out that he and his crowd are wrong on this warming issue, science stands to take a severe and surprising face blow.

Science has been ignored, ridiculed and outright suppressed in the past. It has won it's way to its modern prestige by being right; basing it's claims on deeply researched, tested and verified information.

Now it seems science has opened itself up to political and social influences and is basing its information on consensus instead of pure scientific method. It's a scary thing to contemplate the world if Global Warming proves not to be anthropogenic (man-made) or if the current warming trend reverses. The good people of the world will begin to think twice about accepting scientific assertions at face value and will become more direction-less than they currently are. Such a blow to science would be catastrophic to progress and steps should be taken to prevent it.

Here are a few who are trying:
Global Warming: The Cold, Hard Facts?
Czech president derogates UN global-warming panel

We already have a difficult time attracting students to study and practice the sciences. Imagine disenchanting our children to the degree that is possible here.

Allow dissenting voices in the debate! Statements like, "Global Warming is a proven fact." and "Doubters had better get on board." are emotional, dangerous and counter-productive. Frankly, for those of us who have put some trust in science, they are downright scary.

"The World is Flat" Book Report

2007-01-31T18:17:00.001-07:00

(by Thomas Friedman)

The book has some issues, but it's got one thing right...

Wildly study, teach and encourage Science, Math and the Creative Arts!

The World is coming! The World is coming!

(more later)

In defense of science and religion

2007-01-28T22:42:00.000-07:00

Douglas Adams is a bit of a hero of mine. This man could tell a story! I wouldn’t mind one day being half as good a writer as he was. He could draw and hold the attention of tens of thousands of readers, communicate with them, lighten their hearts with laughs and busy their minds with interesting ideas – must be enormously fulfilling.

From my first reading of Douglas Adams, I have felt like the early man who wanders into a cold new land, sees a creature with a nice warm coat and thinks, “I’ll have it off him!” I try to glean from his writing all the literary tidbits I can. Fortunately for me, studying at the feet of Douglas Adams proves a much safer prospect than skinning a hairy beast.

Well, I’d better get on to my subject.

Douglas Adams was fond of the relationship between his initials (DNA) and his birth year (1952 – the year DNAs heliacal shape was discovered). This gives me a great excuse to abbreviate future mentions of Douglas Adams to DNA which I will begin doing forthwith.

DNA gave a brilliant speech on the subject of the origin of God to which I gave an attempt at summarizing in an earlier post. The title he gave the speech was “Is there an Artificial God”, but I only dealt with the presentation of his ideas on mans creation of God. Here, I’d like to expand on his ideas to show that God may yet be up there smiling.

First of all, I'd like to suggest that it surely would have taken a mammoth’s portion of optimism for early man to have seen his world as hospitable and welcoming. I can’t seem to shake the image of early man surveying his surroundings at the end of a hard day’s hunting to see a world that pleased him like a poke in the eye. I mean, let’s be honest here, it wouldn’t have taken the vacuum, radiation, and boulders of space or even bacteria, viruses or violent nuclear reactions to convince man that his environment was hostile. A simple hungry lion, hard winter, nasty flu or harsh famine would have easily done the trick.

No, man would not have concluded that his world fit him like a hole fits a puddle. That idea would have to be the fabrication of a few more modern and confused men. Now, this doesn’t mean that early man wasn’t lead to create his own god. Quite the opposite; fear and desperation would have led to just that sort of thing. However, it does change the view of a man-created god from one of benevolence to one of slapdash and arrogance – one to be appeased in hopes of favors. Indeed, not only one, but many of these gods have been created. Gods that fit another of DNA’s views much more nicely – filled with man-like reason and passion.

The second bit of DNA’s ideas that furrowed my logical brow is his suggestion that man implied a linear pattern of top-down creation. Such an idea relies upon a superimposing of a subset of gods creative abilities onto man and then of a subset of mans creative abilities onto the creations of man and so forth. Well, you can see the problem right away – mans creations are not creative. Two iterations a pattern do not make. Sure, a third iteration may one day be made – that of a robot or super computer obtaining creative abilities, but to imply that man saw his club or spear as being creative is, well - unreasonable. In fact, the ideas of relationships between man, the world and god would have been quite flat – the gods created everything including a few things that could then create other (but rather obviously uncreative) things.

This is not to say that man has not been startled by evidence that there could be a bottom-up pattern of creation. Clearly, we’ve all been surprised, but not so much because we hold desperately to the idea of a top down creation, but rather because of the nature of surprise itself – it’s simply something previously unimagined. Now I run the risk of someone thinking me in denial of the special hurt that the ideas of evolution have put on religionists the world over. This too is clear, but not so much because of the displacement of an old pattern, but because of the assertion that an idea or even a fact must replace a belief.

Say we apply the above two discussions to DNA’s outline; what are we left with? First of all, we are left with a plentitude of man-like gods favoring the men who best please them and who indeed have melted away like wicked witches in the face of human enlightenment. Simple enough.

Second, instead of a divide between correct and incorrect versions of creation, we have a mind-numbing conflict between science and religion. DNA himself wondered aloud how religion could persist in the face of so much enlightenment. That question cannot be casually passed around as a simple curiosity now that the post enlightenment religion turns out to be more mysterious than a misunderstood pattern. God’s nature encompasses attributes that man could not have thought to create and religion answers questions that man could not have thought to ask. Not through environmental study.

For example, the idea that mans world fits him like a puddles hole is a misrepresentation of the idea that the world was made for man for some purpose. The idea of purpose presupposes a future which nothing else in nature points to. Another example is the idea of a single God. Such an idea is countered by anything you see in nature and would have been and indeed was seen as abhorrent by the natural early man. Curiously, these ideas are not unlike mutations in evolution. They are the input into the system that produces progress.

It is evident to me that man has been presented with a dichotomy. On the one hand, he has been given a curious and logical nature. On the other, he has been presented with quiet affirmations of the divine. The knowledge he has obtained of the first yells out against the tenaciousness of the second which ignores the first with the reverence of a stone.

So let not the religionist despair at the scientist and let not the scientist despair at the religionist. For a scientist to say, “I’ll believe in God when I see him.” is like a religionist saying, “I’ll believe evolution when I see science generate life.” Neither statement adds value and either could end up getting their wish. Science has models of how things may have happened, but a an edifice a blueprint does not make. Religion has direction, but cannot explain the environment. Science cannot be explained by religion and religion cannot be explained logically. Let’s stop trying.

Snap it!

2007-01-27T08:58:00.000-07:00

“Don’t step on them! They’re good bugs. They eat the bad bugs.”

My youngest son never listens the first time. He steps on a bug.

“Aa-Aw. Didn’t you hear me?” I rant. “I said not to step on lady bugs. They’re good bugs.”

“Soory Dad, I just don’ like those. I’m just a-scared of them.”

I rant on, “No, they’re not scary. They’re just little bugs. They can’t hurt you. Don’t step on any more. Just let them be.”

“k.”, with sad eyes and a pinch of ‘can I go now?’.

Insects are not appreciated at our home. My wife especially detests spiders and earnestly encourages both our sons to smash any that she or they find; in the house or otherwise.

I myself like bugs. I think I understand their purpose. I appreciate the occasion they provide to show my poise, my bravado. I try to pass this along to my sons, but I’m not successful.

A favorite in our home is ‘snapping’ flies. Jumping and shouting cascades out of proper silence when either boy scores a sighting.

“Snap it Mom! Snap it! Get the snapper!” the elder yells as the younger picks up, “It’s on the top… on the… the top of the… Daddy’s c’puter!”

Their mother retrieves the fly-swatter. She does it calmly to disguise her pleasure. I know this from the slight turn of her mouth and the factory-clean, breath-of-fresh-air mood that slaps away its dusty predecessor. She’s proud of her sons for adopting her displeasure and turning it into a sport, and of herself for having passed it on – beating out my bravado.

“Yeah! Yea!”, the boys shout as the fly is dispatched. They’re each tossed an approving look for reward – a small bit of smile still escaping her suppression.

“She got it!”

I leave that ritual alone. Flies don’t eat other bad bugs that I know of and I suppose I get a kick out of it.

Last week I looked up from dinner to see my youngest with his shirt up squeezing his chest.

“Put your shirt down.”, I say and bite back the smile.

“Look at my ouys. I’m feeding the baby!”

My wife jumps in, “Put your shirt down and eat your dinner. Only Mommies feed babies.”

Now the eldest adds a surprise considering he’s five, “Now Mom, lets not make him feel bad about this.”

This cracks me up. I laugh until my wife's glare takes effect, but she’s barely holding back herself so it goes on a while. The boys just stare.

finally composed, I shake my head and ask, “Where does he learn to say things like that?”

“I don’t know.”

My youngest is going to be a lover and a poet. His latest antic is to walk up to his mom and say, “Mommy, I love only one. Guess who.”

“Who?"

“Mommy.”, and launches a big hug.

My Thoughts on The State of the Union Address

2007-01-23T20:26:00.000-07:00

just me or did Hilary's hair look kind-of plastered to her head?
`

The Radical Atheist

2007-01-19T07:30:00.001-07:00

You may be familiar with Douglas Adams. He’s the author of “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy” and several other great books. After he died a few years ago of a sudden heart attack his friends put together a book called “The Salmon of Doubt” from some of his unpublished writings. It’s something from that book that I thought would be fun to write about.

Adams called himself “a radical atheist.” He was raised a Christian and converted to atheism via his study of religion, science and logic and ultimately evolution.

A speech that he gave in 1998 at Cambridge University appears in ‘The Salmon of Doubt’. In it he presents his ideas about how religion was born, how it lives and its possible fate. What follows is my attempt to summarize those ideas. A later blog will include an evaluation of them.

We begin with early man who finds himself in a world conducive to the fulfillment of his needs and upon which he finds himself able to exert his influence to provide further for himself. He observes that his world provides for him his food, shelter, material for his tools and material upon which he can apply the power of his tools.

In time, having originated much himself, the clever early man ponders naturally upon his and his world’s origins. He is the possessor of a highly evolved brain and with it is able to study his surroundings and derive from his studies a complex understanding. The information available to him suggests a pattern of creation. He, a being of complexity, creates things of somewhat lesser complexity. Expertly applying the pattern, the man concludes that a being of greater complexity than himself must be his and his world’s creator. Further, having observed that his world is adapted so well to him, he concludes that the creator must have created the world for him.

As time passes, man’s descendants find themselves possessors of greater abundances of information about their world. As they do, the trustees of their ancestor's conclusions discover that they are unable to apply some of the pieces of incoming information to those conclusions. Unfortunately, their natures prevent them from adjusting. Certain conclusions are declared sacred, undefinable and unapproachable. Ultimately, it becomes forbidden to contradict certain traditions. Fortunately, information continues to flow in and in time begins to weigh so heavily against the traditions that they begin to falter.

There are three main perspective altering discoveries that lead to the downfall of the constraining traditions. The first is that the world lies in an obscure corner of the vast and startlingly empty universe. The second is that the world is made of particles existing in their own startlingly unpredictable and again empty space. Not only were the great and small shown to be lonely and oblivious of man, but they were shown to contain elements entirely hostile to him: Vacuum, radiation, and huge earth impacts - bacteria, viruses and nuclear detonations.

The third is that life itself, previously so astonishingly unexplainable and convincingly Devine is, in fact, marvelously explainable. The first and second were the results of tools which allowed man to see in ways previously impossible. Telescopes molded and verified theories of space and time as microscopes molded and verified theories of the very small. The third is remarkably similar - computers molded and verified theories of life. In much the same way that man was unable to see into the great and small unaided, man was unable to see into the extremely slow processes of the development of life unaided. Computers have not only made possible the modeling of such processes, but have themselves provided an example of them in the simplicity of zeros and ones evolving into extremely complex computations, visualizations and data storage and access.

It seems that man’s early application of a theory of top-down creation - high complexity to low complexity - has been turned on its head in favor of a proven bottom-up actuality – low complexity to high complexity. Not only was man's world not created for him, but in fact evolved with him.

Something about Snow

2007-01-11T12:40:00.001-07:00

Today it snowed. More than was expected I expect.

It was enough that I had to perform the snow removal ritual on the car before leaving for lunch. Driver's side roof to trunk and off. Then passenger side, roof again to trunk then off. Touch-up back windshield - rear lights for safety. Front windshield, both sides - special attention to wipers then hood - and headlights for safety. Back to passenger side for window and rear view mirror treatment. Same on drivers side. Finally enter - glad to have remembered to start the car prior because the heat is just beginning.

After lunch I'm walking back into the building. It's still snowing. I yield to the tendency to be annoyed as soon as the first bits get down my neck. Then I'm surprised that it didn’t stick. The annoyance, that is. I find that I'm happy and that I can't help it. It's the snow.

Oh the snow! It's always tickled me. First snows are best, but any snow will do - gentle, playful downward dances. I could be coaxed into verse.

Remember standing at the rail of a bridge looking into the passing water and getting the feeling that it's you moving? Ever notice how falling snow can do the same? Only instead of riding forward, you are lifted up? That’s just one of snow’s gifts. Snow is beauty. It is quiet. It is change.

How many artists have been inspired by snow covered hills, mountains and forests? Snow clashes with nothing and fits everything. Snow is nature and it falls upon God’s creations and mans. A grimy street, a littered yard, a battlefield - all are blessed by this barren beauty.

Healing moments, enlightened thoughts and treasured memories all emerge as blankets of snow steal away the distracting sounds. Snow is cleanser that reveals the silence beneath. The clamors of wind and beast and machine - all prove weak against this patient power.

If I left tracks every day as I returned to work, normal days would see a strait, steady, solid set of foot prints . Today was different. Some solid lines, a few curved lines, and two abruptly interrupted lines were left in the snow as I did a little dance. Snow changes our walk, changes our mind, it turns us around, and it urges us home.

Snow is also a message. It reminds us to go slow, to look around, to enjoy ourselves - to play a little. Let’s listen. It’s in that delightful, mild, quiet little crunch – more felt than heard - beneath your feet.

Grandma

2007-01-08T13:56:00.000-07:00

My Grandmother on my Mother's side recently passed away. A few years ago, my Mother asked her children to write a little something about Grandma for a project she was doing. I came across my contribution today:

My first memory of Grandma Webb was in ‘the cove’ (what we called the place we lived at the time because it was on a bit of land stuck up in a 'cove' of sandstone bluffs) at about the age of 5. I woke up one morning to find that both of my parents were gone. Grandma was there with a big smile on her face. She told me that I had gained a brother during the night.

Mom and Dad had gone to the hospital to have Trent. Grandma had come over in the middle of the night to baby-sit. I remember being nervous that Mom and Dad had left, but Grandma made me feel very comfortable and happy. I had no understanding of what she meant about a brother so she patiently explained that to me and how much of a happy occasion it was.

I also remember one birthday – maybe my eighth – when she got me a little yellow metal dump truck as a gift. Coincidently, I already had an identical truck and in my young ignorance told Grandma that maybe she could get me something else. Mom was appalled, but Grandma showed her usual grace and made it all okay.

Then there was the time Grandma had her eye taken out (due to a tumor). When I talked to her about it I was struck that her only thought was that she was so glad it was her and not one of her children or grandchildren. That natural selflessness has been a lesson for me my whole life.

The general memory of Grandma that I will take to the end of my life is one of perfect example of love, selflessness and inner joy. Grandma is always real, yet uncommonly kind, gentle and wise. You can always count on a genuine loving hug or an uplifting intellectual discussion.

Can’t imagine having a Grandma I could respect and love more.

My first (and only) published poem

2007-01-05T22:05:00.000-07:00

Eye to eye
My palms were pools
I thought I'd die
There were no rules

I felt my face glow
I asked myself "why?"
I said "Hello"
She said "Hi"

My words were a mess
Back rushed the fears
Her answer was yes
I couldn't believe my ears

Written as an English class assignment my freshman year in High School. Ms. Debbie Keel saw to it that it was published in the Aztec, New Mexico city paper. This would have been 1985 or 1986.

I don't remember this poem being about asking anyone specific out. I think it developed from my perception of how such a thing would take place. I'm glad to see that I imagined a positive outcome even though I filled the poem with my insecurities. :)

Self-fulfilling prophecies

2007-01-04T17:16:00.000-07:00

The other day my wife and I are driving home. We had just enjoyed dinner at a nice restaurant with her family. I'm driving.

Now, my wife is not a back seat driver, but she does tend to make sudden suggestions that disorient me. Just last month for example: we've just returned to our car after some Christmas shopping at the local mall. The lot is busy and I've decided on the best, quickest route out based upon previously observed traffic patterns. After pulling the car out of our parking spot and exiting our lane, I begin a planned turn into a line of slowly moving cars headed through the lot. Just then, my wife says, "Didn’t you want to go the other way? The freeway entrance is over there!" Well, there is some logic to getting to the freeway because that's the way home. Surprised and intimidated by the new information, I reverse my course and enter the line of traffic moving in the opposite direction - completely forgetting that I had actually already considered the freeway entrance factor. Safely in line, my memory is restored. Red faced, I explain to my wife the logic that was so quickly abandoned moments before. "Oh, yes. That would actually have been better.", she replies. Well!

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have, in the past, had a tendency at times to get caught up in my 'pondering' and let myself auto-pilot home. I don't know about yours but my auto-pilot has some bugs. Sometimes it will decide that instead of heading home, I'm heading to work. Sometimes it will decide that instead of taking the route that it and I had agreed upon (prior to my surrender to 'ponder' land), it will take a more familiar route. Or even a completely unknown route! Sometimes, instead of heading to work, it takes me to the local book store. (Just kidding on that last one) The point here is that there have been times that I have had to admit to my wife that I have taken a wrong turn. Shot to the ego! The man should be able to get his family safely and directly home.

All this road craze has left me a little jittery. I now find myself nervous when escorting my wife around town. It has even adversely affected the fine ‘pondering’ time that I once enjoyed while on the road (admittedly, … that may be a good thing). So here is me now, to myself, as my wife and I go bumping down the road, “I am going to humiliate myself again on this journey (the prophecy). I must prevent this. I can be distracted by my wife and my auto-pilot is broken. I must trust in myself and I must prove myself trustworthy. I must stay alert and aware of my surroundings.”

This brings us back to the drive home from dinner. There I am, busy with the aforementioned head dialog. I’m watching intently for the exit to I215 as we head south on I15 out of downtown Salt Lake City. I’ve missed this one before and so I am especially interested in not missing it again. I see in the distance the exit. It’s clearly the right one. It's an uphill, two lane exit to the right with the ubiquitous green sign posted on an overpass just above. It comes up. I take it. ...

“Why did you take 53^rd south?”

Self-fulfilling prophecies.

These are just cool!

2007-01-01T21:01:00.001-07:00

Dolphin Boat
Man Flies Like a Bird

New Year

2007-01-01T17:09:00.000-07:00

Ever plop your head down on your pillow at night and think about how many times you've plopped your head down on your pillow? Does that then ever make you think about how many days you've repeated in the same way? Over and over the same thing? Does it give you a desperate urge to pause or at least to shove time into slow mo?

Call me weird (my wife does), but that happens to me pretty often. Sometimes the thousands of images of identical head plops and repeated days start to concentrate and dance around like the elephants in Dumbo's drunken dream. (No, I don't drink :) )

And when I can't shake the vision and the thought lingers, I get this eerie falling sensation that makes me want to flail my arms and legs in an effort to find purchase against the merciless passage of time. Just the idea that it never lets up, not for a second, not for anyone (due nods to Joshua and Hezekiah) just seems intolerable, angry and untamed.

At times of anniversary like the present, the time issue can reach a head. Check these folks out. The dancing head plop vision has simply driven these poor Frenches nuts!

It's all got me feeling a bit out of control too. Ever played linerider? Imagine being that poor little guy! Wholly subject to the law of gravity without even the the ability to put out a foot to slow or steer. High hills and steep valleys coming and going. Hoping only that you'll be able to hang on.

Switch gravity for time and we're all lineriders. I'll give a second for ponder...

Same song, major key: So, we have no foot to put out that will affect the passage of time in any way. And we have to take what comes. However, we do at least have some power to draw some of our own lines. I've hit the age where I've got such a large stack of unfulfilled New Years Resolutions that they seem trivial and powerless. Nevertheless, I've made some new ones. I guess I believe that even though most of them lie in the mentioned pile, the efforts I have put into them in the past have helped to make the hills a little smoother and the loop-d-loops a little less scary!

Happy New year!

linerider

2006-12-31T19:15:00.001-07:00

Why is this so fun?!

Ding-Dong! Saddam is Dead.

2006-12-31T17:22:00.000-07:00

I woke up Saturday with the rest of the world to the news that the Butcher of Baghdad had been executed. Old glory was subsequently posted on the front of our home in honor of those Americans who gave their lives for that bit of 'justice for all'. Thank you, soldiers of the Iraqi war.

Same song, different verse: The news ran a couple of clips of Iraqi-American's making statements regarding their feelings about Saddam's execution. Most were simply jubilant. One stated that he was both elated and sad for Saddam. It seemed to catch the news anchors by surprise as they stumbled with a couple of awkward comments about it. I suppose they weren't sure whether or not to condone feelings of sadness for Saddam. I say bless that Iraqi-American's heart for he has become a true American.

I actually remember being sad for the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Ozz when I saw her feet poking out from under the house. It must have really hurt to have a whole house smash you after all. Truth is, I felt the same sadness as I felt for the Wicked Witch when I saw Saddam being led to the noose. I think it proper for an American or any good person to feel for the loss of life no matter how justified. I hate what his life has meant for two great countries. His and mine. I hate what his life meant for millions of dead and more millions of grieving. I hate him, but like myself a little more for feeling a little sad at his death.

Perhaps I would have felt differently if I had been one of those many who were forced to watch family members being fed into box-folding machines. However, the timid honesty of that Iraqi-American gives me hope that I may still have felt something.

So, good-bye to the true Wicked Witch of the East. With plenty of jubilation and a little pinch of sadness.

Gorebal Warming

2006-12-27T09:22:00.001-07:00

I love the term 'Gorebal Warming'! Brings a mischievous smile.

Why? Disrespect for Al Gore's crusade on the subject? I'm a conspiracy theorist? Or simply because it's fun? Well, I’ll admit that the first and last (I laugh at conspiracy theorists, but that's another blog.) do play in. However, the most powerful factor is my buy-in to the idea that Global Warming and especially the role that man is playing therein is over-hyped by the media for the profits and political leverage that the resulting alarm produces. And I do support Al Gore as the poster boy for that factor. My take on Al Gore is that he has discovered a subject that he can believe in and that more importantly has the potential to keep his name on the TV. (not to mention in the movies)

To me the term refers to the stylized, popularized topic of Man-Made Global Warming (Also known as anthropogenic Global Warming) as opposed to Natural Global Warming or the sane discussion of the causes of Global Warming.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a dye-hard ‘disbeliever’. My opinion is in flux. There are arguments on both sides that capture my attention and that I cannot discard. However, I cannot find it within me to become alarmed even during those times that I lean to the ‘believers’ side. What does get my blood pumping when contemplating the subject is how much disinformation and alarm-ism is being handed out to we unsuspecting, innocent crowds.

I will say this before supplying references supporting my raised eyebrow at Gorebal warming: I live in Utah’s Salt Lake County and am therefore forced at times to tolerate some very poor air quality. I also pay close attention to current events and am cognizant of the role that our demand for oil plays there. If a side-effect of what Gore and the media are doing is to alleviate those problems without undue hardship to innocents, then they are partially forgiven. ;) Immoral route to a good result. Hey, it’s happened before.

Alarmism:

"The Inconvenient Truth" is indeed inconvenient to alarmists

Temper! Temper!
/ Some Response

Con job at The Weather Channel

"...if we oversell the science, our credibility is at stake."

For:
Smoking Gun

Against:
“SKEPTIC’S GUIDE TO DEBUNKING GLOBAL WARMING”

Natural and Moderate

Richard Lindzen

Sunday Times